What is the draw? Did I just get groped?

For New Year's Eve 2009, best friend #2, sister and I headed to West Hollywood to celebrate at The Factory/Ultra Suede. As we drove into West Hollywood on Santa Monica Boulevard, it seemed surprisingly dead, especially on the eastern side and compared to the crowds and chaos of Halloween.

Apparently, Robertson and SMB was party central. Lots of cars, crowds, lights and music. We pulled up to the valet sometime after 10 PM, and proceeded to wait in a ridiculous line for will call. You'd think the will call line would be shorter, but the line for those paying cover at the door was the shorter one. Once the bouncer checked our ID's, we got our tickets and walked in together holding hands. Last night was my first time stepping into a pure gay dance club, and I made it known among our trio; that they did it together with me.

First, we checked out Ultra Suede. The layout was clearly a dance club with a large dance floor, top 40 music, two bars and a nice sitting area. It was hot, stuffy, and crowded. Second, we checked out The Factory side. This side played 80's music, had a large dance floor, two bars, and a very spacious sitting area with a smoking patio outside. We spent most of our time dancing here on an elevated catwalk. The crowd was very diverse, and I really appreciated that. There were gay and straight, men and women, young and older, hot and not hot, and everything in between.

(As an aside: to those who believe that all gay men look model-perfect, I can tell you that in my limited experience of being surrounded by gay men, this stereotype is a misconception. Perhaps, if you live in WeHo or Los Angeles, remember that there is a higher concentration of good looking folks. It's Hollywood, and these people are trying to be discovered and/or make it in Tinsel Town. Am I wrong? For those who have "been there, done that" with the scene, are gay men three dimensional diverse or just one dimensional?)

Overall, I felt comfortable and at ease being at a gay club, having sips, and dancing. I don't know if I have the moves down, but I shook my money maker anyway and did not have a care in the world. I did not feel judged or second-class. After all, I was mostly bumping with my brothers and sisters. I felt free and enjoyed the moment.

Now, I know there is apparently a gay following with Britney and Madonna. But I just don't get it. What is the draw? Can a brother explain? They played some Britney songs muliple times, but no one seemed to mind. I guess the gays really, really love her music.

One thing that struck me was a group of friends who had two handi-capable friends in wheelchairs. They were dancing and bumping like no one else's business. I told one of the gals, who is lesbian, that it was really cool seeing them have such a great time despite the obvious. She said that the two handi-capables loved partying like this and always have a good time. This short conversation was the only one I had last night with any strangers.

At about 1 AM, we decided to leave The Factory and head up the street to either Here Lounge or The Abbey. If we couldn't get in, we would return to The Factory/Ultra Suede. As we walked away, we spotted the two handi-capables getting into an accessible cab presumably for home.

Outside The Abbey, there was a slight line. Then I saw another open gate with a bouncer a few steps away and asked if it was an entrance. His reply was affirmative, and we walked through in seconds. What a breeze. The crowd here was more preppy and yuppie. It was so our type of folks. At one point in the night, I was walking through a tight corner crowded with groups of people and tried to politely pass through quickly without pushing anyone. As I walked out of the crowd, I felt a light carress at the bottom of my ass.

Did I just get groped? Is that a non-verbal pick-up line? Or was it someone's unintentional body movement in the crowd? I walked through at a brisk pace and only saw a blur when I looked back. I mean, I could have stopped and turned back. But then what would I have done? Stare at a crowd of people awkwardly and wait for something to happen? Announce that someone grabbed my ass and ask said groper to identify himself? Is that a sign of being hit on? I don't know what to think of it, but haven't dwelled on it.

I had shyed away from deciding on The Abbey as our base destination because of mixed reviews, but we enjoyed it and have plans to return this weekend to The Abbey and perhaps check out nearby bars/clubs.

As a result of last night's celebration, I overcame a large fear that I would be spotted by some alma mater acquaintances. I decided that if I were to bump into them, I would be completely honest and open about my being there. And this continues to be my plan in the future.

On the home front with my family, things are normal. Family dynamics appeared to be normal within a week or two of coming out to my parents, but I have not conducted follow-ups with them since. They have not treated me any differently or negatively.

Tonight, my family had dinner together, and I wanted to ask my mom how she was feeling about my sexuality. But I did not want to put her on the spot in front of my dad and sister, so I plan to speak with her privately and in person when we get the chance in the near future.

At this point in my coming out process, I believe I have accepted my sexuality almost completely 100% and am getting increasingly comfortable with my sexuality. I expect this comfort and self-acceptance will lead to greater self-confidence, self-love and self-discovery. But I don't want to get too comfortable with myself because a higher level of comfort correlates with a lower level of personal growth.