This holiday I experienced both highs and lows. One of the lows was my time spent on a family cruise. I felt alone and isolated, but in no way because of my family. I couldn't - and still cannot - figure out why. I wish I knew why so I could express my thoughts and emotions on it. You would think this self-discovery journey would facilitate this expression, but at times understanding my own thoughts and feelings is so difficult.
One of the highs was this weekend's WeHo adventure with best friend #2. As I predicted, we celebrated not only the holiday together but my coming out. Unfortunately, best friend #1 could not be with us, and we probably won't see each other until the spring. It is going to be a challenge to not tell the complete truth in our phone conversations until then.
Through the holidays, I realized that only gays can understand the highs and lows of each other in the coming out process. No matter how compassionate and understanding straight friends and family are, they don't fully understand the emotions I've been put through like my brothers and sisters. I cannot wait to return to the weekly meetings and share our stories of progress during the holiday hiatus.
Core memory unlocked!
5 years ago
2 comments:
That is kind of surprising about how you felt during the cruise. Maybe the meeting would be a good place to explore it.
I can relate with you, sometimes when I go back home it may take me several days to open up and feel like I have a sense of belonging with my family. Even though they don't do nothing but welcome me with open arms I still get that feeling. I could only imagine the way you were feeling on the cruise.
You know what helps me, is I get drunk and then I get all warm and tingly inside and love everyone so then I open up to them right away. Vodka will always solve your problems, trust me. Especially Passion Fruit Skyy Vodka and Sugar Free RedBull.
Love,
Peyton
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