Cop a feel

I had a gay-ventful weekend. I saw an openly gay comedian and went to WeHo for the second time.

The comedian was Jason Stuart, who performed at the Ice House Comedy Club. I didn't know what to expect except that his material probably leaned gay and that there would be a gay crowd. Of course, his act was relatively gay with some religion and family material and turned out to be pretty good.

Surprisingly, the crowd was mostly straight with a few brothers and sisters. I would have expected a gayer crowd, but I think the patrons of this comedy club are regulars who enjoy whatever act appears that night. It's not where people go to see a particular act but go to get some laughs regardless of the acts. Overall, the night was quiet and mundane.

The next night, best friend #2 and I made plans to hit up WeHo. It was my fourth night at gay events/venues and second in WeHo since coming out. I don't know when I'm going to lose count of this, but I guess that will be a good sign. A sign that it's becoming a normal part of my life to just be among my brothers and sisters.

I have noticed my increasing comfort level at gay places and am proud of the progress I have achieved in the past month. I even managed to speak with three guys this night - albiet uneventful and brief. It feels great; two months ago, I would not have dared to go.

Best friend #2 and I easily found a metered street parking space on Santa Monica Boulevard and were pleased with scoring such a highly coveted spot. Angelenos can attest to how difficult it is to get one. As I put on my jacket and about to walk away from the car, my phone fell out of a pocket, hit the curb and slid under the middle of my car.

It didn't look good. I backed up the car, and best friend #2 retrieved it from the ground. The screen had cracked and was no longer functional. The cracks were visible in the screen. I always drop my phone, but never had this happened. Oh, well. What could I do? Pretty much nothing. Luckily, I have phone insurance and received an exact replacement via next day delivery. Sweet.

Backing up the car to retrieve my phone was pretty funny, because two cars instantly turned on their turn signals to snag my spot. We had to tell them no, and both drove off with disappointed looks.

The first stop was The Factory. We walked in, got two tickets without paying a cover, and then left without stepping up the stairs to the club. I told the bouncer that we'd see him later, but did not get the chance to return as the night passed. Our next stop was Here Lounge. I asked the bouncer if entrance had a cover, and the reply was negative, so we decided that we would return later. The last stop before dinner was Rage.

What the fuck. As luck would have it, I bumped into an alma mater friend at the door. We served as resident advisors together and also took a couple of classes together.

As best friend #2 and I queued up at the entrance, I recognized a male ahead of us in line. At first glance, he looked familiar. Second glance, I knew who he was. He was said resident advisor's gay friend, and the three of us had taken a class together. I did not know the guy well and seldom spoke to him. My thought was to not acknowledge him by mentally feigning cluelessness. So I did.

Then I saw said resident advisor standing right in front of me, with her back and side to me, so I could not avoid the moment. But in this moment, I wished I hadn't committed myself to being completely open and honest to alma mater friends in my last post and did not want to say hello to her. Maybe I am not completely accepting of my sexual orientation. Or maybe I am not ready to tell those outside my inner circle and have slight guilt for not telling best friend #1 yet. But I am aware that these small gestures of honesty and openness with others will further my coming out of the closet and take me to a better place.

After this quick thought passed through my head, I called out her name. She was happy to see me, we exchanged pleasantries, I introduced best friend #3 to her, and we briefly caught up. She was there in a group with said gay friend, had just finished dinner nearby, and did not have plans to party. I did not get introduced to her group or say hello to gay friend as they had already gone inside past the bouncer. When we got to the bouncer, resident advisor had to finish her from-another-establishment drink before entering Rage so best friend #2 and I proceeded inside.

On a side note, I recognized one of the bouncers at Rage. I had seen this shady and creepy character occasionally at my old gym. I'm not sure what his story is, but he definitely had dodgy eyes at the gym when I would see him.

Once inside, the two of us quickly sat down as I was in a slight panic. I confided in best friend #2 that I wasn't sure if I would tell resident advisor that I'm out of the closet. She hadn't asked while we stood in line so I did not feel the need to disclose. However, I am almost confident that resident advisor knew why I was there. It was like a no-duh. Why else would a guy party in WeHo except that he is gay?

After a short discussion, best friend #2 convinced me to be honest. And I knew it. It was crucial in pursuing my goal of being completely open and honest to follow through.

On our way out to find dinner, we saw resident advisor still sipping her drink outside with a female companion. The four of us chatted for several minutes, and I told resident advisor to call me if she decided to stick around at night. There was no direct opportunity to disclose privately, so I did not end up coming out to her. But I am sure she knows...

Best friend #2 and I went off to look for dinner. During this walk, we observed mainly gay men walking together or solo on the streets. Passing a Starbucks, we realized that there were only men inside and gave each other a look of "it's going to take some time getting used to seeing disproportionate amounts of men simply gathered in one establishment". Of course, our reaction was not negative. It simply expresses the fact that we don't see this on a regular basis living outside of WeHo.

Our walk took us to Mark's Restaurant. We finished dinner and agreed to start with drinks at Fiesta Cantina, a low-key, Mexican-themed bar. It was packed, loud and boisterous. The crowd had more straight folk than I had expected.

While waiting to order drinks at the bar, I felt someone behind tap my backside several times over one or two minutes. I did not look back because I was too nervous and was unsure how to react. He stood behind both best friend #2 and I and finally spoke up. Tall, good looking and sexy. Tall told us that in order to be successful at getting Fiesta Cantina bartender's attention in the crowd of good looking patrons, they need to get up on the bar stools, lean over and chat up the bartenders. It didn't matter how good they look 'cos we all look good in WeHo.

While talking to us, Tall was getting quite touchy feely with both of us and offered to demonstrate how to get the bartender's attention. In order to demonstrate, he slid past me and definitely got closer than necessary - even if it was ridiculously crowded. The three of us continued some small talk while waiting for our drinks. I couldn't discern if Tall was flirting or simply being friendly. After paying for drinks, best friend #2 and I parted from Tall and his friends to and head up the stairs. I didn't know what else to do at the moment.

I found out from best friend #2 that Tall was only getting touchy with me and apparently hitting on me. I was clearly aloof. Could I have made more small talk? Probably. Could I have flirted back? Probably. But, alas, I was too nervous and new to the scene to be confident in what I was doing. I guess it was a good starter for the night.

We settled on the edge of the second story patio overlooking SMB. Great place to people watch the entrance and pedestrians on the sidewalk. While here, I practiced making small talk with a gay stranger whose friend left him alone for five minutes. After getting our second round of drinks at the upstairs bar, I noticed a tall and handsome man who had been waiting before us to get his drinks. I leaned over and whispered Tall's tips on getting drinks at Fiesta Cantina. He said thanks and that best friend #2 and I were cute. I was (and am still) not sure how to read that so best friend #2 and I proceeded downstairs to the outdoor patio, finished liquoring up and left for Rage.

Rage was a pure dance club, hot, stuffy and crowded. So all we did was use the restrooms. I asked said shady bouncer where they were located, and he was friendly with giving clear directions in the dark. I noticed him caressing my torso as he gave directions to the restrooms, but did not give it much thought and went on my way to get my business done. Was he trying to cop a feel or something?

Our next destination was Here and The Abbey. As we turned the corner to Robertson Boulevard, there was a slight line outside Here so we proceeded to The Abbey. Walking past the line at Here, I recognized a fellow who goes to my gym. I saw him there earlier in the afternoon. I am not sure if said gym goer recognized me, but did not give it much thought.

Best friend #2 and I walked through The Abbey in a couple of minutes and left to wait in line at Here. So much for wanting to return specifically to The Abbey! We were in a dance mood, and it was not happening at The Abbey.

Once inside Here, we took to the dance floor, shook our moneymakers, and watched the go-go girl and go-go boy. If I remember correctly, it was light blue/ice themed and crowded with some good looking folks. I saw said gym goer get propositioned by his friends to tip the go-go boy. I wonder if he's also new to the scene. He looks pretty straight to me, but I remind myself that gays and straight come from all walks of life.

Best friend #2 and I took a break from dancing and needed to use the restrooms, but didn't know where they were. (I think next time we just have to look for the ridiculously long lines inside the venues) So I approached a guy who wore one of those security ear pieces and appeared to work there. He directed me to the back, and again I noticed this man caress my torso while giving directions. Again I did not give it much thought. But what does it mean? I mean, I did notice that my brothers get quite touchy when trying to pass through in crowded areas throughout the night regardless of the venue. Are these men trying to cop a feel on my body or is this a simple sign of brotherly friendliness and politeness? Bouncer and security folks in WeHo are pretty nice.

While making our way through the crowd, best friend #2 led the way and held my hand as to not lose each other. I passed through a very crowded area, but my other hand and arm got stuck between two guys. I don't think the shirtless guy whose abs I touched was happy about it. It happened so fast. He reprimanded me by grabbing my arm and saying something to the effect of don't touch people if you don't know them. Man, I felt like such a jerk. It totally looked like I was trying to cop a feel of some hot, shirtless man's abs, but was not my intention.

This whole experience in navigating the scene - both figuratively and literally - is like a second adolescence. I enjoy this term as read over at Guy from Chicago. I spent the whole night in WeHo, absorbed a lot and felt comfortable there. I have to hit up other bars and clubs to figure out whether this scene is mine to enjoy frequently, periodically or seldom. Although this was only my second trip there, the scene on occasion is probably a healthy way to experience what it means to be young and gay.