Things are looking up

Last night I went to the meeting again. I showed up about 15 minutes late, but fit right in to the continuing discussion. When it came time for me to share progress, status, and goals, I told the group that I had come out to my sister and that it went well – a million times better than I had thought and played it out in my head. Because of that and a conversation I had with my sister, I am looking forward to telling my parents… hopefully soon.

After the discussion, three of us went to a nearby coffee shop to have casual conversation. At one point, the other two men commented that I was quite positive and had exuded an attractive/positive attitude about my coming out process, especially when I had given my update. I had to ask them to repeat it, because I did not believe that I was as happy as they believed I was about it. I think I might be upbeat, but I didn’t think that the positive attitude had such an effect on them. But their complement put a smile on my face and things are looking up.

Tonight I had a conversation with my mom over dinner and somehow we started talking about marriage. She said something to the effect of, “it doesn’t matter to me whether or not you or your sister get married”. That kind of surprised me. So I pushed deeper and asked, “You don’t want to be a grandparent? Don’t you want to have grandchildren like all other parents?” She said that it doesn’t matter as long as we both find happiness because marriage and children are a big life commitment and investment. I think through her personal experiences of raising a family and working, she realizes that children are not important if they do not bring happiness or joys to your life. This really gives me relief to know that when I come out to my mom, she will not be devastated at the prospect of not having grandchildren. After all, it’s not her family name that I would carry on.