It's a beautiful thing

Close friend #2 finally returned from the wicked blizzard conditions in the east coast, and we met up for lunch today. It went extremely well, and I feel so much more normal and happy. You can say that I'm on a high!

This afternoon we decided on a Thai restaurant in Los Feliz. After ordering our food and take-out for her family, I was excited and could not stop smiling. At last, we were together in person, and during this meal I would reach my goal of coming out to another member of my inner circle with the expectation of a positive outcome.

So after close friend #2 updated me on grad school life in the wintry east coast, it was my turn to tell her the details of my life here at home. I began to get nervous and somewhat anxious, but had to push on. The speech started off with a similar storyline from before and turned out to be more of a two-way conversation up until the announcement.

Immediately after delivering the words "I am gay" with a proud smile on my face(!), she repeatedly expressed how happy she is for me and how happy I must feel. I told her though I have reached this point of being happy, I have experienced both highs and lows; how the last couple of months have been an emotional roller coaster and that the future will be the same as I move forward in this process. She then confessed her suspicions about my sexuality though never had the desire to ask or force it out of me because she recognizes that this is something a person must face himself.

She wished that I had come to this realization earlier in life for two very selfless reasons: first so that I could have lived a happier life earlier than this point in my life and second before her move to grad school so that she could be supportive and an ally. So I explained that it has been a rough road finding self-acceptance and self-love, coming to terms with myself, and that people are ready only when they are emotionally and mentally prepared to do it. I had to embark on this self-discovery myself, and it has so far been a rewarding and enlightening road. We plan to go to a gay club in WeHo to welcome 2009!

Reflecting upon this afternoon, I have realized another epiphany. It's a beautiful thing that close friends can accept who you are way before you can accept yourself. It is such a powerful and moving human gesture. I am so grateful for the people in my inner circle. They truly are here for a reason.