I recently went to dinner with an acquaintance and his friends. All are straight and don't know that I am gay. At this point in our friendship, I don't believe he needs to know my sexuality because it has no bearing on our relationship.
At one point during the meal, one of acquaintance's friends used the word "faggot" several times in a light-hearted, joking manner toward another friend. I smirked at myself, thinking here I am, a gay man, and someone is using the derogatory term in my presence without knowing my sexuality. Would this guy have withheld using this term had he known my sexuality?
Censorship. I was not bothered or offended by the use of that word in that context, but I just thought it funny how people might censor their words while others are around. It was straight guys joking with each other. Maybe because everyone was cool, and I liked them, I was not offended and allowed it roll off my back. But should I have taken offense?
I think this comfort may show some sort of progress - not exactly sure what kind or in what aspect - in gaining more self-confidence and comfort in my sexuality even when a derogatory term is used. Had the term been used in a negative manner, I would be bothered and uncomfortable. And if it had been used toward me, I would have been pissed and angry.
Core memory unlocked!
5 years ago
1 comment:
I suppose there may be some people who think you should have spoken up about it, that people should always challenge such language. But I think you have to judge the moment and the people. I think you had a right to decide that it was not serious enough to make something of it and draw attention to yourself.
You are the one who was there and the one who would have been involved.
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